DOGE: The Agency that "Nobody" is Running
Donald Trump's government has no idea who's running the department that's dismantling the government
When Trump first announced the creation of the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE)—co-headed by Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy with the stated goal of “dismantling government bureaucracy, slashing excess regulations, cutting wasteful expenditures, and restructuring federal agencies”—the immediate joke was Trump was putting TWO people in charge of running a department tasked with improving efficiency.
While we’re at it, maybe we could pardon El Chapo and make him the new fentanyl czar? And Stevie Wonder can land the planes!
Eff me, this is stupid.
"Together, these two wonderful Americans will pave the way for my Administration to dismantle Government Bureaucracy, slash excess regulations, cut wasteful expenditures, and restructure Federal Agencies - Essential to the 'Save America' Movement," Trump wrote. "I look forward to Elon and Vivek making changes to the Federal Bureaucracy with an eye on efficiency and, at the same time, making life better for all Americans." – President Elect Donald Trump (Nov 12, 2024)
With the department’s internal structure off to a head-scratching start, Trump then compounded the confusion by announcing that DOGE wouldn’t actually be a federal department. Or even function inside of government, for that matter. Instead, Trump said, it would “provide advice and guidance” from outside the Executive Branch, working closely with the White House’s Office of Management and Budget to propose cuts.
So, DOGE would not be a federal agency—it would simply advise the White House as a…government department?
The whole thing was starting to sound dodgy.
Sadly, a rift between Elon and Vivek resulted in Vivek’s sudden departure from DOGE just days after the inauguration, meaning America wouldn’t get to witness the made-for-TV power struggle of two filthy-rich egomaniacs inefficiently jockeying for control of America’s anti-inefficiency task force.
Sensible people cheered the move because two people doing the job of one person in the name of efficiency was three levels of idiotic to begin with. MAGA cheered because Vivek was brown.
Shortly after being sworn in, Trump signed an Executive Order officially establishing DOGE, making sure that the EO included new language that made all the previous confusion up to this point as to what DOGE’s purpose and function was even murkier than before. As stated in the Order:
DOGE’s Purpose:
“This Executive Order establishes the Department of Government Efficiency to implement the President’s DOGE Agenda, by modernizing Federal technology and software to maximize governmental efficiency and productivity.”
Definitions:
(a) “Agency” has the meaning given to it in section 551 of title 5, United States Code, except that such term does not include the Executive Office of the President or any components thereof.
(b) “Agency Head” means the highest-ranking official of an agency, such as the Secretary, Administrator, Chairman, or Director, unless otherwise specified in this order.
Structure:
(a) Reorganization and Renaming of the United States Digital Service. The United States Digital Service is hereby publicly renamed as the United States DOGE Service (USDS) and shall be established in the Executive Office of the President.
(b) Establishment of a Temporary Organization. There shall be a USDS Administrator established in the Executive Office of the President who shall report to the White House Chief of Staff. There is further established within USDS, in accordance with section 3161 of title 5, United States Code, a temporary organization known as “the U.S. DOGE Service Temporary Organization”.
I promise you that the further we get into the weeds on this, the less coherent it’s all going to get, so forgive me if I stop and try to summarize where we are every few paragraphs. It’s not that I don’t think you can follow. It’s that I’m not sure I can.
SUMMARY TO THIS POINT: Trump announces a new government department to weed out wasteful government spending, then says it’s not actually going to be a government department but will operate outside of the Executive Branch as an independent advisor, then signs an Executive Order that says it actually is inside the Executive Branch, and also it’s not a new department at all, it’s just a rebranding of the United States Digital Service, which is a department whose mission is delivering “better government services to the American people through technology and design” and has absolutely nothing to do with financial spending, budgeting, or audits.
Everyone good and confused so far? A little?
Great.
So, now that we’ve firmly established that we have no idea what DOGE is or what it’s actually supposed to be doing, let’s move on to the fun fact that nobody appears to be in charge of this discretionary foreign aid spending/Top Secret nuclear HR/graphic design agency either.
Quick, raise your hand if you thought Elon Musk was the head of this agency.
You would be forgiven for thinking that since that’s what Donald Trump has been telling everyone since day one: Elon Musk is the head of DOGE.
That notion was certainly reinforced when Musk and Trump held a joint press conference from the Oval Office explaining all the “fraud, waste, and abuse”* DOGE was uncovering. (*spoiler alert: there wasn’t any)
And if you happened to catch last night’s State of the Union/MAGA Rally Greatest Hits 9-hour marathon, there was this little morsel from Trump to throw everyone off the scent:
“I have created the brand new Department of Government Efficiency—DOGE. Perhaps you’ve heard of it. Perhaps. Which is headed by Elon Musk who is in the gallery tonight!”
That isn’t, like, a read-between-the-lines mystery to unravel, right? We ALL agree—you, me, Elon, Trump, Congress, MAGA, everyone—that Elon Musk is the person in charge of this agency, yes?
Well, you’re wrong! I mean we’re wrong!
I think.
Try to follow this.
After freezing a bunch of funds, accessing a massive trove of private data, and firing tens of thousands of federal workers—none of which he has any discernible legal authority to do—attorneys general from 14 different states got together and sued Elon Musk and DOGE for injunctive relief (a fancy way of saying they filed a restraining order against him).
The Attorneys General argued in front of Judge Tonya Chutkan that Trump has “delegated virtually unchecked authority to Mr. Musk without proper legal authorization from Congress," which certainly appears to be the case.
That is, if you choose to believe you’re stupid lying eyes.
In a response filing, White House attorneys argued back that not only is Musk not in charge of DOGE, he’s not even an employee of the department. Joshua Fisher, director of the Office of Administration, submitted an avidavit stating Musk was simply “an employee of the White House Office,” nothing more than a “Senior Advisor to the President” who “has no greater authority than other senior White House advisors. Like other senior White House advisors, Mr. Musk has no actual or formal authority to make government decisions himself. Mr. Musk can only advise the President and communicate the President's directives."
The obvious response to that ludicrous argument is that one does not hack into government agencies, lock federal workers out of their own systems, freeze congressionally-appropriated funds, fire federal employees at will, and declare via Twitter that failure to respond to a weekend email will be taken as “a sign of resignation” without recourse if one “has no formal authority to make government decisions.”
Somebody is lying.
Either Trump is lying to America about Elon being the head of DOGE. Or Trump’s attorneys are lying to the court about Elon not being the head of DOGE. Either way, someone is telling a doozy of a lie.
So which is it?
Or an even better question is: If Elon isn’t in charge of DOGE, who is?
In a hearing last Monday over the constitutionality of DOGE, Donald Trump’s lawyers told Judge Colleen Kollar-Kotelly that they don’t even know who’s running the Department of Government Efficiency. When asked by Kollar-Kotelly, “Is there an administrator of DOGE at the present time,” the epic response from Trump’s Justice Department was, “I don’t know the answer to that.”
And in yet another U.S. District Courtroom in Maryland, Judge Theodore Chuang repeatedly prodded government attorneys for clarity on Musk’s role, to no avail. Instead of trying to recap it for you, I’ll just let you read this amazing back-and-forth for yourself. For set up, the government had just asserted that someone named Amy Gleasan may or may not be the head of DOGE.
JUDGE CHUANG: Who was the head of DOGE before Amy Gleason?
GOVT COUNSEL: I can't answer that, I don't know.
JUDGE CHUANG: I mean, that seems like a knowable fact, doesn't it?
GOVT COUNSEL: I'm sure it is knowable; I just don't know it. I'm very conscious of being accurate with the court. I just can't make a representation.
JUDGE CHUANG: Have you asked anyone?
GOVT COUNSEL: I have not asked... actually, strike that. I have asked previously, and I was not able to get an answer.
JUDGE CHUANG: Are you saying there was an administrator before Ms. Gleason, or that there was nobody until this new person was put in?
JUDGE CHUANG: Is there a piece of paper, like an appointment paper? Is there one that says Elon Musk, senior adviser to the president?"
GOVT COUNSEL: Sorry, now you're talking about Elon Musk, not the DOGE administrator?
JUDGE CHUANG: The plaintiffs are saying Musk was the head of DOGE. You're saying he wasn't, but we can't tell you who was, which admittedly is highly suspicious ... I'm not saying that you're not being candid, but the whole operation raises questions. There's an affidavit saying he's a senior advisor of the president. But there's a 'strange disconnect' where he has referred to himself in public as affiliated with DOGE and not as a senior adviser to the president — until recently, after these lawsuits were filed. Having some backup documentation for that would seem to be useful.
After trying in vain to get a straight answer, Chuang finally declared that it seemed “factually inaccurate” for the Trump administration to keep insisting that Elon Musk has no formal position in DOGE. Which means it’s time for one last mid-story summary
SUMMARY TO THIS POINT: Trump & Elon’s DOGE is sued for violating the Appointments Clause of the Constitution, prompting government lawyers for Trump to tell the courts that Elon has no official role at DOGE, despite Trump repeatedly telling everyone that Elon is the head of DOGE, forcing the courts to then ask who is in charge at DOGE, to which the government responds that they have no idea—it could be no one, it could be that Amy Gleason lady who was the Administrator at the US Digital Service before that tech/design agency got rebranded and repurposed into DOGE—but it definitely isn’t Elon Musk even thought Trump keeps telling everyone that it’s Elon, and Elon keep acting like it’s definitely Elon.
All of this begs the question: why?
Forget, for now, the question of DOGE’s constitutionality (or lack thereof); why is it so freaking difficult to get a straight answer out of this administration about who’s in charge? Especially considering Elon’s assurances of “maximum transparency.”
Maximum?
Maximum is supposed to be “the most amount possible.” I’m no mathematician, but I do know “we have no idea who’s in charge” ain’t it.
Until we get to the bottom of this FUBAR du jour, at least we can all take great pleasure in knowing that Trump can’t ever manage to not find a way to shoot himself in the foot. And then inserting it into his mouth.
Less than an hour after he wrapped the longest SOTU speech in history, lawyers in the case challenging DOGE’s failure to comply with the terms of the Federal Advisory Committee Act cited Trump’s own words in his address to the nation as evidence against the government’s arguments about Elon Musk.
You’ve seen the image of Trump kissing Musk’s bare feet? Both left. Sheer poetry. Sometimes AI gets it right despite itself.
Great article!!